There was once a time I thought I’d miss being on Facebook. I convinced myself I’d be missing out on the social connection, missing out on being a voice in online communities, or missing having a finger on the collective pulse of my fellow Gold Line family.
But lately, as I reflect on where I’ve been and who I’ve become, I’m more certain than ever that some spaces aren’t meant to be returned to. And some bridges? They’re meant to burn.
I used to believe that community meant sticking around even when the atmosphere turned sour. I’d laugh at the dark humor, sit quietly through the sarcasm, and tell myself we were all just coping the best way we could.
But somewhere along the way, the “support” started to feel more like mockery. The “therapy” became trauma-bonding disguised as camaraderie. And I was mistaking survival for healing.
So, I left. Seven years ago, I deactivated my Facebook account.
I was three years into my career as a 9-1-1 telecommunicator, and I chose to let it go. Not out of some self-righteous declaration but because I realized I was stuck in a harmful loop. I was feeding off complaints, connecting through collective misery, and wondering why I still felt so alone.
It took time, but real peer support eventually found me. Not the kind that tears down but the kind that gently builds back up. And now, as someone who’s grown to believe in healing, in growth, and in therapy that nurtures instead of wounds, I look at those old connections differently. With gratitude and clarity.
“Because not every space deserves your presence. Not every relationship deserves your energy. And not every bridge is worth salvaging.”
This isn’t about bitterness, it’s about boundaries. And sometimes, “letting it burn” is the healthiest, wisest, most liberating choice you can make.
So, let’s discuss the ways we need to let it burn in our own lives. Since it’s not just online communities where I see this negativity grow and fester, it’s also our physical spaces where we allow this toxicity to become bigger than the community and take over our communication.
Gossip is not talk therapy, and we should not allow ourselves to believe otherwise.
Gossip is idle talk that often centers around unverified information, rumors, or speculation about someone’s personal or professional affairs. It is frequently negative in tone, casting individuals in a disapproving, questionable, or even malicious light.
Gossip benefits no one; not the person being discussed, nor the people listening. At its core, it may be born out of jealousy, envy, or resentment, or it may simply be a means of providing brief entertainment for the speaker, but it comes at a cost.
It does nothing to improve the culture or morale of the center. Instead, it breaks down trust, undermines professionalism, and creates unnecessary division.
More importantly, gossip does not solve problems. It does not create true understanding or generate real sympathy. It does not offer clarity or resolution.
If there is a legitimate concern about someone or something, the appropriate response is not to talk about it behind their back. The right thing to do is to address it directly and respectfully. That may mean speaking privately with the individual involved, approaching them with compassion and authenticity. Or, if needed, bringing the concern to a supervisor or manager so it can be handled properly.
“Speaking with people, not about them, is how we foster a healthy and respectful work environment. If there are people in your workplace who are committed to gossiping and spreading harmful rumors, learn to let them go, and be willing to let those bridges burn.”
Set the tone that they have a choice: either they stop the destructive behavior and join you in the effort to uplift others and bring positivity back into the job, or they will be left behind. The alternative is no longer acceptable or justifiable.
Peer support is not about bonding over trash talk.
It is not sharing mutual resentment toward our profession, our coworkers, leadership, or the citizens we serve.
True peer support uplifts, encourages, and helps others stay grounded in the purpose and passion that brought them to this field in the first place. The reality is, there are still many incredible, dedicated individuals in this profession who care deeply about the work we do. They show up each day with commitment in their hearts, and they deserve a culture that nurtures that spirit.
Toxic and negative conversations do not fuel their passion, they drain it.
This kind of environment can wear down even the most seasoned professionals, especially those who are trying hard to hold onto their “why” in a space where it’s increasingly acceptable to hate the job rather than love it.
We also have a growing number of new 9-1-1 telecommunicators entering the field, many of whom turn to online communities, forums, and social media groups in search of guidance, support, and inspiration.
Unfortunately, many of these spaces have become breeding grounds for bitterness, cynicism, and unchecked venting. Instead of finding encouragement or mentorship, newcomers are often met with resentment, burnout disguised as wisdom, and harsh judgments about the job and the people we serve.
In some of these communities, the norm is to complain about callers, ridicule difficult situations, and glorify discontent, while those who try to inspire positivity, resilience, or empathy are dismissed, mocked, or silenced.
“Again, that’s not peer support. We must do better. We owe it to each other, and to the future of this profession, to foster spaces that are safe, supportive, and rooted in purpose.”
We can’t be content with having online spaces to vent if those spaces don’t actually refill anyone’s cup after a long, exhausting day. If all we do in those spaces is complain about the profession, then it may be time to let those bridges burn, or work intentionally to revitalize them into more compassionate, supportive environments.
Let’s talk for a moment about the people we allow in our social circles and in our corner, because those aren’t always the same thing.
A good friend of mine says, “Not everyone in your circle is in your corner,” and that is such a profound thought. Sometimes we mistake connection or friendship for something deeper when, in reality, we’re just bonding over shared frustrations or mutual jadedness about the job.
It might feel like those people have your back because they’re just as tired, fed up, or disillusioned as you are.
But ask yourself: what are they actually bringing to your life?
Are they pushing you to grow?
Are they invested in making this profession better?
Or are they just feeding the negativity and wanting company in their misery?
I’m a firm believer in networking. I stay active on LinkedIn, and I take pride in some of the meaningful connections I’ve made through that platform. But I also know that not everyone who finds their way into my life, whether personally or professionally, is meant to stay. Not everyone deserves a permanent seat at your table just because you crossed paths once or shared a venting session.
Some of these connections, some of these online communities, we need to let them burn. Period.
Evaluate the spaces you’re engaging with. Take a real look at the conversations, the energy, the people. If the primary purpose they seem to serve in your life is fueling your anger and keeping you stuck in discontent, then they are not people you need in your corner. You have every right to choose relationships and spaces that make you better, not bitter.
